In the 100th Year of the War
James Valvis
My dearest wife, this is the last message I will be able to send.
I have been told by my captors to prepare my soul for tomorrow I go before God for final judgment. I have been commanded to pray for forgiveness for my crimes. I told them again I was innocent of any of their charges, but they only laughed. They assured me they knew everything I had done. They are quite convinced. In any case, they say they believe that all are guilty of something.
In that, we are in agreement.
At least they have permitted this last message.
As a courtesy, they have shown me the blade they will use to saw off my head.
It’s not as big as you might think. It more resembles a machete than a sword.
I realize all of this must be tough to hear.
You needn’t be too upset. I am surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Resigned, you might say. I am as Socrates was before the hemlock. At least they have not tortured me or given me false hope. One of my captors said in the old days they might have done such things, but he believes their movement has grown soft.
I take heart from that.
From my vantage point, I nevertheless told him, they do not seem soft.
He laughed. He said in another world we might have been friends, but war is war and men must do what they must do. It may seem crazy to you that sawing off another man’s head could be seen as nothing more than a duty to be performed, and yet I believe for many of my less zealous captors this is all it is. It is a trifle. Like cleaning the floor of a stain.
Oh, here and there you have a true believer, some religious nut, but most are simply afraid of us. This seems utterly irrational to me. What would anyone have to fear from me? From our society? From our religion and government? And yet it is true we have committed our own atrocities. What government, religion, race, or society can rightly say they have not?
Even if I am innocent, they said, they must make an example of me.
They will record the whole thing and broadcast it through the usual channels. You must not watch it. No matter how tempted you are, do not watch. Instead, find my brother near the front, and let him be my witness. Let him verify it is me on the film. He will be strong. He’s always been strong.
I have my reasons for not wanting you to watch. If you watch, your heart will swell with bitterness, even as my child swells in your belly. This bitterness, I believe, will pollute our child’s blood, too. There is no scientific reason to believe this, but I am certain it is true. And then we will have another hundred years of war. And another.
How I miss you, my love, your dark eyes, your hair like warm sun on my face, and the smell of your wine-scented breath. Let the lines of your mother and my mother crack some other face. Let never hatred for the enemy poison your heart.
Remember that once America was a great nation and a free people.
Ask God to forgive them.
As you must, and as I do.
Your Beloved Husband, M
I have been told by my captors to prepare my soul for tomorrow I go before God for final judgment. I have been commanded to pray for forgiveness for my crimes. I told them again I was innocent of any of their charges, but they only laughed. They assured me they knew everything I had done. They are quite convinced. In any case, they say they believe that all are guilty of something.
In that, we are in agreement.
At least they have permitted this last message.
As a courtesy, they have shown me the blade they will use to saw off my head.
It’s not as big as you might think. It more resembles a machete than a sword.
I realize all of this must be tough to hear.
You needn’t be too upset. I am surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Resigned, you might say. I am as Socrates was before the hemlock. At least they have not tortured me or given me false hope. One of my captors said in the old days they might have done such things, but he believes their movement has grown soft.
I take heart from that.
From my vantage point, I nevertheless told him, they do not seem soft.
He laughed. He said in another world we might have been friends, but war is war and men must do what they must do. It may seem crazy to you that sawing off another man’s head could be seen as nothing more than a duty to be performed, and yet I believe for many of my less zealous captors this is all it is. It is a trifle. Like cleaning the floor of a stain.
Oh, here and there you have a true believer, some religious nut, but most are simply afraid of us. This seems utterly irrational to me. What would anyone have to fear from me? From our society? From our religion and government? And yet it is true we have committed our own atrocities. What government, religion, race, or society can rightly say they have not?
Even if I am innocent, they said, they must make an example of me.
They will record the whole thing and broadcast it through the usual channels. You must not watch it. No matter how tempted you are, do not watch. Instead, find my brother near the front, and let him be my witness. Let him verify it is me on the film. He will be strong. He’s always been strong.
I have my reasons for not wanting you to watch. If you watch, your heart will swell with bitterness, even as my child swells in your belly. This bitterness, I believe, will pollute our child’s blood, too. There is no scientific reason to believe this, but I am certain it is true. And then we will have another hundred years of war. And another.
How I miss you, my love, your dark eyes, your hair like warm sun on my face, and the smell of your wine-scented breath. Let the lines of your mother and my mother crack some other face. Let never hatred for the enemy poison your heart.
Remember that once America was a great nation and a free people.
Ask God to forgive them.
As you must, and as I do.
Your Beloved Husband, M
